I’m dying and I’m the one breaking my own heart. Twist the knife deeper, thrust the blade harder. Completely demolish my shell. Destroying my very core. Crimson waves of the tears of war, the battle that I’m losing. The soul that I’m destroying is my own. You don’t know, you will never know because I will never show you. I am decaying from the inside out, the rotting stench drowned out by the fake sweetened smile. Made from nothing but broken bone and sinew. I give you this, I give you me, this zombified corps that’s falling back to hell. You will never love me, because I wont let you. I am the toxin that poisons my own blood, the blood that I can never let you taste. Run away before i force you to. The knife is in my hand as my veins beg to be opened. Bound together in our sorrow, I refuse to pull you farther into my hell. The demon in my soul will never let me go. Would you have let me have you? I don’t know. Iv destroyed everything, because that’s what I am. A decrepit monster of hate. Your ghost it haunts me, making me see that I will either die for you, or die chasing you. In the end I realize that I’m in love with the way that you torture my soul. I’m breaking my own heart, murdering my own soul. I pray to God that he saves you, because I don’t know if you want me to anymore. Your something that I don’t deserve. Your good, your real and I’m a monster.
You have no idea how much you mean to me, you really don’t. I could say it a billion times, and you wouldn’t get it. You say you do, but I wonder. I’m afraid of everything.